If you didn’t know, there have been some pretty sensational divorces and settlements.  I think we all knew about Tiger Woods and Elin when they divorced with her walking away with $750 million and half his pride (cause she whooped his ass).  I even remember Michael Jordan’s divorce where Juanita got over $168 million.  Well, CNBC.com did an article on the top 20 most expensive divorces but this check is among one of the top 5 divorce settlements, it’s not even #1 on the list.  Number 1 on the list got 2.5 billion!  However, I was simply taken aback regarding the sight of a check this big.  Harold Hamm (oil tycoon) and his wife Sue were married for 24-26 years and the total of their assets is around $18 billion.  She was awarded $1 billion but she feels she deserves more and I agree.

They have been through a lot in over 2 1/2 decades.  I think she should get around $5-$8 billion as a settlement.  They prolly had children she had to acknowledge everyday when the nannies brought them in to say good morning.  She had to keep her up looks with all the plastic surgery and yo-yo dieting.  She had to sleep with him on a regular basis or when his escorts weren’t available.  Then, hire someone to take care of him after all them hair follicle implant treatments.  Oh, and the parties, how exhausting.

Let’s think about this check for a minute though……You’re a teller at Bank of America and some lady comes through your line with this check.  What do you ask?  You can’t say how would you like this back because if she’s says all $20s, you’ll be there for 3 days counting that money down in that little money machine.  If I were mad enough about the divorce and hateful, I’d do just that.  Make the teller count it down in all five dollar bills.  LOL

No, but I’m sure it went directly in to her account but imagine how different her life will have to be with a measly $947 million.  Now, instead of having a separate chef for breakfast, mid morning snack, brunch, lunch, afternoon snack, appetizer, dinner, dessert, midnight snack, all meals have to be cooked by one chef!  That is simply disgusting.  Who has to live like this?

Her house staff has to be reduced from 100 down to 20 people and the apartment complex they all lived in will have to be rented out.  The 20 house members left will have to share 10 rooms with jack n jill bathrooms instead of their own studio apartment like before.  They will prolly file grievances with their union rep about the unsafe living conditions after that.

Her black card will now be a red card which stands for “Alert, she has a spending limit now, she ain’t rich no more!”.  She may have to actually look at the tags when she shops for anything too.  And to add insult to injury, she will not have the store shut down for private shopping sessions, she’ll have to learn how to shop during regular business hours along with common folk.  How terrible!

Now she has to do cut down on facials, instead of everyday she can only go every other day.  Imagine the toll that will have on her pores, ewwwwww.  The million dollar diamond nail polish she use to use will be limited to special occasions and Vera Wang will no longer accept her calls for special gowns.  Harry Winston blocked her number too since he only deals with the mega rich, movie and music stars.  She’s not mega rich anymore.  She prolly got her membership to the country club revoked behind this loss of income and you know she had to down grade from an 80 bedroom, 75 bath, 8 pool castle with a moat with live alligators in it to a 15 bedroom, 13 bath, 1 pool compound down the street from Justin Bieber’s house.  Hope he doesn’t egg her house. LOL

🙂 Phee